# butthurt dan ditunjal

perasaan pelik hari ini.

sedih sudah acapkali.

sampai anak murid sedar mimik muka sememeh tadi.

entahlah. rasa muak dan jelik sebati.

tapi sungguh, 

aku rasa amat butthurt dan seperti ditunjal hari ni.

agaknya, kau pun rasa nak tunjal kepala aku kan mie?

biar jelah.

mungkin tidak senang dengan bahagia aku.

dan tidak semestinya punca bahagia hanya satu.

aku seronok kecapi tahun akhirku.

dan pintaku satu.

jangan kau cuba rosakkan emosi aku.

kerana kau tak tahu apa reaksi aku.

perit rasa.

jenuh.
tahan perasaan cemburu.
tahan perasaan jemu.
tahan perasaan benci kamu.
tetap terluah seketika.

entahlah.
mungkin ini rasa kali pertama.
rasa kecewa yang cukup gila.
rasa celaka. rasa puaka.
binasa.

****************************************************

BP : hmm... jom tidur ???

CRZ : okayy.. tapi!! jawab dulu soalan tadi...

BP : banyaknya soalan malam nii..

CRZ : jawab duluuuuuu... kalau tak, takmau tido..

BP : okay okay. soalan apa ekk?

CRZ : hmm.. bila nak dating?? rindu tahu?

BP : ohh.. bila-bila masa dan ketika yang akan saya bagitahu.

CRZ : hmm.. *suara kecewa*

BP : okay. saya spesifik kan sikit, boleh?

CRZ : yeayyy~~~~~ *loncat*

BP : mmmmm.. hari.... ala, kang bagitahu, takut tak jadi. tak berani nak janji..

CRZ : yelah. tak tepati kang jadi najib pulak *nada kecewa*

BP : bukan... takut ada rancangan lain datang tiba-tiba.

CRZ : takpelah. ikut awak. 

BP : kenapa nada kecewa ni??

CRZ : takde apa. saya okayyy.. dun worry k?

BP : ala, tak sedap tidur kalau cemni bunyi suara awak... kenapa ni??

CRZ : hmm. kecewa sikit. tapi takpelah. faham, orang ada kerja. *nada redha*

BP : okay okay. saya check balik. nanti saya confirm, saya bagitahu k? jangan cemni..

CRZ : saya okay. jom tido? *sambil genang air mata*

BP : awak,, 

CRZ : selamat malam awak.

BP : okay. selamat malam. jaga diri ye. pakai selimut.

..........text...........

CRZ : sorry. -.-

andai hati punya perisa.

andai hati punya perisa.
aku pilih perisa coklat.
sedap enak pilihan ramai.
lazat ditelan muak diluah.

andai hati punya perisa.
aku pilih perisa vanilla.
suci bersih anggun warnanya.
lembut tidak sekeras cuka.

andai hati punya perisa.
aku pilih perisa beri hitam.
warna pelik tidak menarik.
masam penjernih stress di hati.

andai hati punya perisa.
aku mahu perisa bercampur.
biar indah hidup tidak membosankan.
suka duka jadi tauladan.

p.s : lama tak jumpa perkataan tauladan. dulu masa bersyair zaman sekolah rendah, mesti ada perkataan tauladan. HAHA.


WL: enabcantiksangat

hati korupsi

diam seketika.

lihat luar sana.

tiada.

jeling kiri setan suka.

jeling kanan, rasa hampa.

terus tegak jalan.

gerigi kayu diasah lembut.

lembut hati cair bagai air.

paling semula.

takut dunia.

takut sana.

duduk semula.

hati terkorup walau seketika.

rasa berdosa entah sampai bila.

tiada yang pasti.

maaf.

oh please! it's a fling!

7 things songs kept play in my MindP3. 

it was like

hey enab, he's just a fling, you know?

yaya~ i know it much than you do dear.

it just, urmm,, when you are far from his heart while the real things is you are just too close.

i don't feel like i have to get this thing really works.

he doesn't needs me. so why should i feel its going to be work, right?

just glancing and smiling.

does it look okay?

yes, it did.

how about the 'third-party'?

is 'she' okay with that?

what i'm thinking, taking him, make he loves me.

and forgetting about others heart?

sounds not me.

so, please. 

i have to forget you and make it clean.

i believe, i can.

even my heart beating playing your song.

iloveyou.

but it is the right time to forget you, now.

i'msorry.

love youth, love your country!

assalamualaikum.

something noble is never easy to do - Dato' Prof Ir. Dr. Sahol Hamid Abu Bakar, Vice Chancellor of UiTM.

hi friends! how do you do? well, i wish Selamat Hari Raya and happy birthday for those who celebrated. XOXO from me. :)

dear, what is the first thing comes to your mind when i said discipline? is it a teacher with "rotan"? or some races fighting? or just "pancitkan tayar cikgu tu"? how about self discipline? did you imagine about waking up late? or managing myself out? 

okay stop.

now let us see what is discipline all about. well, i said that a discipline is a routine that a human saw, did or heard everyday. well, i don't want to refer any Wiki's discipline definition. it just come along with my facts. that's all. in school, for example, students may lack of disciplines because they are exposed to too many negativity norms. as we could see, all medias like radios, tvs', newspapers, will brought these negativity right to their mind and poof! teenagers, they are more like fires, so the negativity will spreading in secs. don't be shocked, because, it is true hollywood stories. 

as an adults, it is our responsibility to help them. disciplinary is not about judging or punishing. it is about to educating youth. not to mention, teachers and parents should be together handling these matter. medias also. they should play a role with positive things. yayaya~ i know. it is your job to report all things that happened. but, you should know that your news is not only about dirty politics, and celebrities world, or even an abortion. it should be wider than that. my cousin takes journalism course, and yes, she did agree about all tabloids dirty games. political issues, abortions at some 'kampung', abortions between 'sekolah pondok' teenagers. it is all about money and ranking. not about the citizens, and most importantly it is not about YOU friends! write-lah something about that can motivating them. encouraging them. something that can bring positive and meaningful to them. it will helps, at least, decreasing discipline graph in Malaysia.

so lets help teachers, 'ringankan beban, berganding tangan'. :)

mesej komuniti ini disampaikan oleh saya, cik raja zainab. 

feel the passion, feel the care <3

#iloveteachers

WL: enabcantiksangat

senyum kelat.

kepantangan.

bila orang buat muka.

bila orang suruh buat kerja tergesa.

bila orang jerit tak tentu hala.

jangan bagi aku terpantang.

pantang betol aku.

this is how a friend should be.

a friend is a jar.

full with sacrifice.

twist the feeling.

a friend is a tissue.

saturated all your sadness.

and wipe all your frustrated.

and i need one.

but i've already got numbers of them.

sorry girls. 

if i am not like what i did mention above.

XOXO

budak.

budak.

kalau lagi di argue, lagi tension.

lagi migrain.

budak.

kalau di argue, semua kata dia betul.

kita ni kakak mcm bodoh dibuatnya.

budak. 

kalau boleh di argue, cerita semua boleh diungkit.

dari botol susu sampai ke cuci berak.

budak.

kalau nak di argue, satu malam tak habis.

melayan kerenah kau budak.

tapi. aku suka sorang budak.

bila aku argue, dia suka kata,

urgh! aku malas nak argue dengan kau!

itu tandanya aku betul, dan kau salah.

sekian. terima kasih.

WL: enabcantiksangat

how i've fooled by myself.

assalamualaikum.


well readers, as you read mine before, i've stated that i'm kinda busy finishing my assignments and my portfolio. yes, i did so. but why i still look like frustrated upon something, right?

well the answer is simple. i am fool. i am dork. i let myself sleep before i did sent all my portfolios and assignments. and my marks will be down, as far as myself couldn't imagine.

i told you guys before, that i wanna change, from somenone, to someone. i wanna be better person in future, but i let the future darks before i change myself. how pathetic!

now say, am i really a LOSER actually?


till then, don't feel sorry for me. scold me!!!!

now it kept playing --> LOSER DOUBLE LOSER GOT A PICTURE WHATEVER!!!!!

sejuta terima kasih.

assalamualaikum.

i don't want to talk about what happened with my MUET test. all i could say is, i should prepared and not take it easy. it is about life, and more, it is about myself.

however, today, i learnt so many things which i can conclude it as one. i don't cherish the time. i simply used it and wasted it. but somehow, all the punishment made me to think wisely and maturely. i am future teacher. i am going to teach my student to be on time. but what will happen if me myself couldn't manage my time? and what would happen if my student cross back what i am doing now?

dear encik zarani.
i am sorry (even i know you won't read this) for being selfish. i am too thinking about myself as far as i don't think about my classmates, and especially you. i believe, all this should be a good lesson for me to be a good teacher tomorrow.

encik alyes

to my heart, encik alyes.
yes, i admit. i am the one who you expelled from jabatan late this afternoon. and i am the one who also late for ten minutes. i am sorry for not thinking about your orang rumah or even worse, your football class. it should be my own responsible to be on time and not making others wait, especially you. i adore your leadership, and i adore your fatherhood. you just like my dad, with your funny jokes and when you got mad, it shows your love, not your abhorrence.

to all my friends, especially yaya and naim, oh. fariz also. sorry for zillions times. i made you guys waiting. and i know. it is all my fault. i'm acting immaturely. and i admit, you guys are getting annoyed with me. but yet, still, thanks for your moral support by smiling even your heart was broken.

and to my best kawan sampai mati 'afifah farah syamira bt abu hassan.

thanks for being understanding. lend me your shoulder and your bed late this morning. and by being selfish, i just let you alone doing the powerpoint presentation. even i know, the quality still like one person did, but at least i know, deep in my heart said that you are good student yet a good friend. thanks a lot my heart, my soul. i definitely believe that people are only jealous upon you because you have such a strong personality that they couldn't break it ever. and i strongly believe that if i could push you ever, they will be jealous even more. so heart, sleep with me tonight please... let us done what people think you cannot done.

to everyone who did hurt with my attitude. i am sorry. zillions of sorry for each one of you.

and sejuta terima kasih for those who taught me lessons. i really appreciate it.

WL: enabcantiksangat

dengar lah dulu...

assalamualaikum.

whoa. tergamam kejap tadi. member PLKN dulu kata aku sombong. ape kes? aku sombong pejadahnya? mane pernah! aku sekurang-kurang kau kata hai, aku balas balik. then, kalau aku busy, aku terus terang ah kata aku busy. gila apa aku nak bongkak! naik turun adrenalin aku bila dilemparkan tohmahan yang aku sendiri pun tak pasti siapa petualangnya.

sombong-sombong kucin jerrr...

sentap jugak mula-mula.

aku tanya ah siapa yang kata. tapi beliau tu kata ramai dari ahli kem aku tu yang kata. wa panas gak lah kan. apesal nak lemparkan taik kat muka aku. agak cilaka la perangai tuduh menuduh neh. aku pantang sikit.

stop pointing me!

tapi aku mula berlagak cool.

iras disitu.

dan rupa-rupanya mangkuk taik lalat bosar *seperti di atas* tu yg menipu. dia yang kata aku sombong, nak sabit nama mereka yang tak bersalah. kesian yang lain. maaflah sebab aku angin kat semua. biasalah. aku memang baran tak terkawal sikit sejak akhir-akhir neh. maaf ye. *lagu "maafkan kami" pun berkumandang*

sekarang aku normal.

tak marah-marah sangat. wasn't a big deal lah kan sebenarnya. JK je pun. aku je yg terlampau emosi. entah kenapa, aku pun tak pasti. tapi aku cuba sedaya upaya nak tabah kawal hati tak marah-marah. *sambil kedip-kedip mata*

okelah.

p.s: all images are googleable.


WL: enabcantiksangat

konon pandai

buah duku buah durian
makanlah buah-buahan tempatan
semua haters terasuk tertekan
hidup aku bahagia tidak meroyan.

bagai itik pulang petang
macam tu jugak aku berjalan
hey kau haters kenapa nak berang
aku bz la, malas nak layan.

potong kayu guna kapak
kapak diukir oleh pak sudin
dah kau haters macam budak-budak
game kau tak sudi aku main.

p.s I: sorrylah haters. aku memang suka bajet suci murni bersih. oh. tapi aku takdelah maksum macam yg kau hebahkan.

p.s II: gila kau haters. pecah rekod aku tulis pantun untuk kau semua. harus kau semua berbangga dan riak. kan? aku sayang kau semua. amat!

WL: enabcantiksangat